I was terrified.

Was it a big hairy spider? A home invader? A tornado? A threatened lawsuit? A burst pipe? A volcanic eruption (in New England, that would really be something else!) ... ?

No. My computer refused to boot. It got to the "welcome" screen then just sat there. Going around and around and around. It has never done that. It was fine when we left to go to the grocery store. No blue screens of death or anything at all. It was computering along uncomplaining. Fine, thank you.

But. It. Would. Not. Boot.

I put it in "safe mode with networking" and restored it to the last save point ... two days ago. And now, it's fine again. No idea what happened except for a tiny, brief message that said "new drivers installed" then vanished -- this while it was in "safe mode." What drivers? I didn't install any new equipment and the only driver I regularly upgrade is for my graphics card.

So I have no idea what happened, but my heart is pounding and I've got a headache. I think my blood pressure just went into the stratosphere.

Although the computer is essential to my life, in fact everything on it would be easy enough to restore. Photographs and documents are safely stored on two external hard drives. My virtual life is on various clouds somewhere out in the Ether World -- WordPress, Google, the bank, Amazon and probably a few others I can't think of offhand. Other than Photoshop which I have on DVD, all my software is easy enough to replace by downloading.  Yet having my computer not boot filled me with dread and a horrible feeling of powerlessness. I think I'm less afraid of spiders ... and that's saying something because I'm really phobic about arachnids.

I will never know what happened. A virus? A bad download? Nothing is supposed to download to this system without my permission. It's one of the reasons I don't like Windows 10. You can't turn off automatic downloads. I hate when things happen and I have no control over them.

If I wasn't sure how important my computer is in my world, this absolutely showed me the bare, ugly truth. I need my computer like I need air. How did it come to this?

And wasn't it a long way down.

REVIEW -- THE KINDLE FIRE HDX

Amazon launched the new generation of Kindles at the end of September 2013. I spent time perusing these latest greatest Kindles. They are much like the previous generation with the following differences:

• Higher resolution graphics
• More memory and memory options
• Faster processor
• Longer battery life
• Easier (more) Amazon cloud storage
• Simplified (better) support
• A front-facing camera for Skype and similar applications
• Different, more intuitive, menu structure
• New placement of speakers and buttons
• Even better sound quality
• Comes with a charger.

There are other difference, but these are the ones that concern me.

When the HDX first came out, my Kindle Fire HD was working fine, but as months passed it began to stutter. Stuff wouldn’t download. Too many audio books and movies. Too much music. I kept finding more ways to use the Kindle and 8 GB of memory wasn’t enough.

When they dropped the price by $50, it became less expensive than my original Kindle HD Fire. After a dark night of the soul about spending the money, I bought it. It came with 6-month financing at 0% interest … a nice touch.

I depend on my Kindle. It’s not an optional piece of equipment. I have hundreds of books I can read only on Kindle so in the end, there wasn’t much choice. I was going to get the new Kindle.

I’m convinced Kindles are the biggest bargain in tablets. My granddaughter has an iPad which theoretically has more functions. For my purposes, it isn’t as good. Not only does it cost two to three times more than the Kindle, but the sound quality, screen resolution and color are not as good. The difference in sound quality is particularly obvious. I don’t know how Kindles get such great sound from tiny speakers, but listening to anything on the Kindle Fire HDX is a pleasure.

The Amazon Kindle Fire HDX has a new interface for email that’s smoother and easier to use. The calendar is greatly improved. There are plenty of free games from Amazon. If you have a Prime subscription, a great many movies and TV shows are available too. You can borrow books. Moreover, you can “buy” many books for $0.00. Sometimes these sales run for only a day or too, but there are new deals every day. And you can lend your books to Kindle-using friends and family.

This is an incremental upgrade to the Kindle Fire HD. The HDX is a wonderful tablet, but so is the original Fire HD. You can still buy the Fire HD (new from Amazon) for $139. For many people, it will be more than adequate. The main advantage to the HDX is the faster processor and additional memory. If you use your Kindle a lot, you’ll notice the difference.

This is a remarkably complete, fun entertainment center in a lightweight, purse-sized package. It’s almost too much fun offering a plethora of pleasantly distracting choices. It’s also a better reader. The page color is a softer; adjusting screen brightness is easier.

You can store everything on Amazon’s cloud servers. If you delete a book, you don’t lose it. You can remove items from the device, but they remain accessible as long as you have WiFi. Serious road warriors may want to get a Kindle with 3G.

You can do most things you would want to do on any tablet on the Kindle. You won’t be editing pictures or writing your novel, but I don’t think you’d be doing that on any tablet. Or at least I wouldn’t. For those things, I want more RAM, a hard drive, an application with legs and a full-size keyboard.

Big thumbs up for overall quality, sound, video, and speed.

Buy a cover that offers some protection and keeps dust out. Most let you prop your Kindle like an easel to watch a movie or listen hands free. Many (most) covers turn the Kindle on and off when you open or close it. Covers are affordable.

Fingerprints are a peril of all tablets. Keep a stash of lens wipes handy. Good for the Kindle, cameras, computers and eyeglasses. Don’t bother with a protective screen; it’s a waste of money.

The on/off button is less difficult to reach, though its placement on the back of the unit wouldn’t be my first choice. I’d prefer all the controls in front. And I find the charger connection tricky. Not a deal breaker; just saying.

The Kindle Fire HDX wakes up instantly. Zero boot time.

I got the one with the ads. They only appear on the splash screen before you unlock it. What’s the big deal?

If you own a Kindle, you are in the Amazon universe. Amazon is so integral to my life anyway, that’s fine with me. I’ve been buying books, appliances, music, movies, housewares, coffee, cameras, computers — everything except clothing — from Amazon for years. If you feel you need to spend two or three times as much for a tablet for the privilege of buying exactly the same stuff elsewhere, hey, that’s what Apple is all about.

THROWING THE WORLD AWAY

The computer industry has declared me -- and everyone like me -- obsolete. Irrelevant. We can't afford subscriptions to "keep us up to date." Worse, keeping up to date isn't a major issue in our lives. I don't mind running a version or two behind as long as the tools I've got get the job done. I can go years without repurchasing my software. I guess they don't make enough money selling new releases to folks like us. Yeah, that's probably it.

If you -- like me -- are one of the millions of computer users who live on fixed incomes or are just plain poor, you're barely able to keep a roof over your head and food on the table. You are NOT subscribing. To anything.

A couple of days ago, I got my "You've Been Hacked!" letter from Adobe. This has affected (depending on who you believe) between 38 and 150 million people. All of us have had our personal information stolen and quite probably sold to hackers. Doesn't anyone but me find this alarming? I am less than ever interested in anything requiring I store my files on any but on a device I own and keep in my home.

Yes, I know the house could burn to the ground and all my backups would be lost. If that, God forbid, should happen I will be otherwise occupied trying to put my life back together. Worrying about lost data is not going to be my primary issue. I'm not a business, you see. I'm a person. (What's a person, daddy? Is it a new kind of corporation?)

When my PCs stop working, which they don't do more than once in a deeply cyanotic moon, I call the Guy Who 75-WorkingNIK-CR-87Fixes PCs. He comes to the house.  Replaces the broken bits. Cleans out the virus that bypassed the safeguards and generally tunes it up. I give him a hundred bucks, he gives me a card with his number on it so if the problems come back, he will return and fix'em.

Am I the only one who is in no position to just dump equipment and replace it? No way could I afford that. I'm still in debt for the stuff I have. Moreover, I deplore the throwaway society we are building and the mindset that comes with it.

Disposability it not good. It's not an improvement. It's destroying our environment. Polluting landfills. Making an already profligate society more thoughtless and wasteful. It's the definition of where and how we've gone wrong.

Does no one in the computer industry look at business in a wider social context? Realize what a dangerous path we are treading? If one thing is going to doom our world, throwing stuff away rather than fixing it will be our route to damnation.

There was a time when Garry and I were working a ridiculous number of hours and started using paper plates. To avoid washing dishes. After doing this for a while, one day, I found myself washing the paper plates. I couldn't bear the idea of throwing them out. It seemed wrong. Wasteful. That was when I rediscovered the concept of reusability. I had actual dishes in the cupboard. I could use them, wash them -- and use them again! Epiphany!

We are turning into a world of paper plate users. Everything, from your car to your computer, to your kitchen appliances. It's all junk. When it stops running, dump it. Don't even think about fixing it. Change your cell phone every six months. Toss the old one. Somewhere on this planet, there is a giant, bottomless hole into which the garbage goes and it will never fill up, right? If you keep believing that, maybe the house brownies will come and clean for you while you sleep.

I'm not expecting answers. I'll be dead before anyone looks around and says "Whoa ... this isn't so good. What about building things we can repair. You know. Reuse."

Footnote: In an insult-to-injury attempt to avoid accepting blame, Adobe is blaming their mess on users with "stupid passwords" like 123456. Excuse me, but they didn't hack my computer. And Adobe is still trying to get me to subscribe to their cloud. What's wrong with this picture?

THE INTERCONNECTNESS OF ALL THINGS

More than half the posts I write -- including this one -- are born while commenting on someone else’s post.

The late great Douglas Adams (who shared my birthday, March 11th -- I'm sure that means something, but I have no idea what) created a character that I dearly love. Dirk Gently (also known by a number of other names, including Svlad Cjelli), was the owner/operator of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency. It operated based on the "fundamental interconnectedness of all things." I believe in Douglas Adams and Dirk Gently. We all operate, knowingly or not, on the fundamental interconnectedness of all things.

We are intricately and intimately linked. I wonder if we take for granted how bound to others we are in this strange cyber world we have created. I have read and heard much talk about the isolation of each person, alone and lonely with their computer. It has been put out there as a metaphor for the estrangement of people from each other the symbolic isolation of individuals.

I don’t think it's true. For me, for many of my friends, for my husband, isolation would be life without the Internet. For anyone who suffers a chronic illness, for those of us getting on in years who can't get out as much as we want and whose friends have died or moved far away. For young people whose studies, work, happenstance or life choices have settled them long distances -- continents and oceans -- distant from old friends and family, the Internet is a godsend. Skype and programs like make it possible to see the faces we love. If we cannot share a hug, we can share face time. Electronic communications are fast or instant. Texting and IM, Twitter, Facebook, even YouTube -- let us share in ways that were science fiction just a few years ago.

Without my computers, I would be truly isolated. The fibromyalgia, arthritis and heart condition make getting around difficult. Without electronic connection, I would be a squirrel up a tree without a fellow squirrel to keep me company.

This post was inspired by Dawn Hoskings on whose post I was commenting when I realized -- again -- how lucky I am to be living in a world that lets me enjoy virtual travel and participate in a larger world. I'm glad -- proud -- to be part of a community of bloggers, a community of friends around the world. And deeply grateful. How about you? I'd like to hear your stories.

TOMORROW AND TOMORROW

We are classically conflicted. Bummed by the wretched lodgings, enchanted by the beauty of the Cape. Itchy to be back in familiar -- comfortable -- surroundings. But glad to be away from the daily dilly dally. It may be a not-exactly-perfect vacation, but it is a vacation. We won't get another for a year or more. Not to mention there's some seriously rough weather ahead. High seas and gale force winds on the horizon.

I tend to think that what's happening to me is about me, but then I stop and think and realize what happens to me also happens to Garry. And, to some degree, happens to my family and friends. We are so interconnected. So dependent on each other. Our lives are not lived independently. We are not islands, not even peninsulas.

No Man Is An Island

No man is an island,

Entire of itself,

Every man is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.

As well as if a manor of thy friend's

Or of thine own were:

Any man's death diminishes me,

Because I am involved in mankind,

And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; 

It tolls for thee. 

-- John Donne

It is, to put it in the modern fashion, complicated. Very complicated.

Fortunately, some things are simple. You just sit there and wait until whatever is wrong sets itself right. Or not. Because you can't do anything about it anyway. Helplessness is the ultimate simplicity.

As an example, my computer just crashed. Nothing small. Blue to black screen to CHKSCRN where it announced my registry and file system were experiencing Problems. Not something one wants to see on the monitor. It suggested I wait while it checked itself for errors. Like I'm going to argue with it.

It proceeded to check itself for errors. Find errors in the file system, registry, disconnected packets? Orphaned data? Then it said it was putting itself together properly (did I detect a note of reproach? Is this my fault? Have I been a bad computer mommy?)

It repaired itself, announced "I am all better now. Please wait while I reboot."

Bing, Bong. Reboot.

"Hello, I'm your laptop. All better now. Please go right ahead with whatever you were doing" -- which is this thing I'm writing.

Effectively, my computer just had a stroke. It took itself to the hospital, performed surgery -- on itself. It healed, and went back to work. Who says Windows 7 isn't cool?

I still don't know what we are going to do tomorrow. I think we'll explore. Maybe we'll find someplace we've never seen or perfect dunes. With just a hint of giant sandworm.

WHAT REMAINS OF SANITY MUST BE PRESERVED

When people of good will work together and you still can't fix a simple problem, the best response is probably heavy drinking. When the victim doesn't drink, the problems takes on a more philosophical coloration. It gets a bit strange, even surreal.

This entire disaster is most likely rooted in a router that needs to be rebooted by a woman protected from everything by a determined ignorance I cannot breach. If she had a symbol, it would be the three monkeys, paws over eyes, ears, and mouth. Skip the mouth. She talks, but does not hear or see.

Her name is Front Desk.

- - - 

IT BEGINS WITH ME (10-13-2013)

I cannot publish or save a post since this morning. It was fine yesterday. Other people's WordPress blogs also display in plain text with missing graphics. I have cleaned out cookies and cache. I've signed in. I get messages that I'm unable to connect, but I can connect to Google, Facebook, Gmail, Blogger ... but I can't get my own blog to open properly. I can respond to some comments on other blogs, but not in the normal format. All formatting is gone.

Please help. I don't know what to do. I have gotten emails that my site looks normal to others, but not to me. Nor do their sites look normal. I have no idea what to do, but I can't edit, save, publish or even view my site. Can get to dashboard, but not the blog. Have cleared cookies and cache, but no improvement. All since this morning. Was OK yesterday.

The blog I need help with is teepee12.com.

IT CONTINUES WITH A SENSIBLE RESPONSE FROM WORDPRESS (10-14-2013)

Hi there,

I want to assure you that there aren't any issues with your blog itself. It sounds like there may be a problem with your connection to WordPress.com. This is most often caused by either security/firewall software on your computer or your ISP blocking the connection to WordPress.com.

Please make sure that any firewall software on your computer has the addresses wordpress.com and wp.com white-listed. You can also contact your ISP and request that these addresses be white-listed on their end, as well.

If you have any questions or further trouble with this, please let me know!

MY RESPONSE TO EVER INCREASING INSANITY (ROUND 2) (10-14-2013)

I tried accessing WordPress with all virus protection off and the firewall down. No change. Things keep getting worse. It must be the ISP since my husband's laptop has identical problems. We aren't at home. The "resort" at which we are staying has ComCast and they want a zillion forms filled out and Front Desk is clueless about what they want from her. Frankly, so am I. This should be simple, but apparently not if you are either Front Desk or ComCast. It's not worth making myself crazy trying to fix this when we will be home 10/19. Where hopefully everything will be normal. 

Since you assure me everything is really okay, at least I know I can take care of it then. It's very frustrating. The fix is so simple, but there's nothing more I can do, or nothing I can think of. If you think of anything, let me know.

Why would Comcast DO this? I don't understand. But there are many things I do not understand.

IN DEFENSE OF MY REMAINING SANITY (GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS) (10-15-2013)

This does sound to me like an ISP issue at your resort. Since you'll be home again at the end of the week, it sounds like a good idea to unplug and ignore it, for your own sanity. :)

If you do want to work on it, and you aren't able to get Comcast to white-list wordpress.com and wp.com, you might want to ask the resort if they will reset their modem and router. Sometimes resetting those will help resolve connection issues like this.

Good luck, and enjoy the rest of your time away from home! Let me know if I can do anything more to help.

THE NON-RESOLUTION (10-15-2013)

Ironically, when I first got here, my computer told me the router needs rebooting. Front Desk did NOT know what a router is. She didn't know where the router might be. I said "Surely someone knows ... you MUST have one."

She said "There's a guy who takes care of this, but he's only here ... (long pause) ..."

"Call him. Ask him where the router is. All you have to do is unplug the modem and router, count to 20, then plug them back in. It's simple."

"I can't do that."

And there it has lain, like a dead fish rotting on the wharf. I would not be surprised if the entire problem is that the router needs rebooting. A problem is only simple to those who wish to understand.

My sanity is seriously in jeopardy. This is supposed to be my VACATION. I am not vacating. I am stewing, brooding, simmering and occasionally, crying. I wish I were a drinker. I would start chugging tequila now and not stop until coma sets in. Alas, I don't drink. Bummer.

Or, in other words, ARRGH!