PERFECT WEATHER AT HOTEL HELL? OR PERFECT HOTEL WITH WEATHER FROM HELL?

I've been to beautiful places and done nothing but watch the rain pour down for a full week. Talk about depressing.

This time, it was a pretty bad hotel ... but the weather was ideal and we we able to get up and out and really enjoy at least that.

I suppose, in the end, brilliant weather trumps luxury. Mother nature rules. Especially if you are a fanatical photography enthusiast! Even more so if you are a couple and both of you are enthusiasts.

GOING HOME

Not sorry to leave this place, but sorry to be leaving Cape Cod. Nice, though, that it's close enough to come anytime on a day trip. Sometimes we forget it's just a little more than an hour away ... with no traffic. And it's good to be "not at home" no matter where else it is. A change of scenery is good for the soul.

I'm always afraid what I'll find when I get home. A thousand pounds of junk mail, hysterical dogs, half a foot of matted dog hair, urgent messages on the answering machine, scary messages on the answering machine. What will be will be. I just hope that nothing awful is waiting for me. Please, let there not be something awful.

PUMPKIN PATCH IN YARMOUTH

We went exploring, not knowing where we would wind up. Never has this failed me. There always something and today was no exception.

Driving along Route 28 through South Yarmouth was the biggest, most luscious pumpkin patch I've ever seen. I've seen a few. This was the best yet.

The pumpkin patch belongs to the church. They grow pumpkins then sell them in October to raise money for the church. An interesting variation on the classic bake sale. They have one of those, too. Next week.

Charlie Brown would definitely approve.

HINTING AT BLUE, HANGING ON HOPE

I am blue this morning. More accurately, this afternoon. The hands of the clock have crept along past the noon hour into the afternoon. The heavy machinery which is rebuilding the parking lot have temporarily ground to a halt so the guys can eat their lunch. I rarely envy Garry his hearing problems, but on days like this when noise makes sleep impossible (do they really have to start at 6 AM?), it doesn't seem so bad.

Lots of little things are nagging at me. Like termites gnawing the edges of my brain. I'm in a place where I can  - with effort - kick myself until I stop moping. But it takes effort. Why am I blue? I'm sure this miserable excuse for a resort is part of it. Especially not having a comfortable bed. I can forgive a lot if the bed is good.

Then there's the realization this is the only vacation we'll get this year. It could have been worse. It could have been a fantastic resort, but rained all week. Or one of us could have come down with flu. Both have happened and you don't even get to blame the Front Desk. And it also could have been a lot better. I would have welcomed a little pampering. It's been a rough decade and then some.

There's always a let down at the end of a vacation - any vacation - when you know you have to go home to face whatever crap you left behind. It's waiting. In our case, there's a lot of stuff waiting and it has fangs and claws.

Still, it isn't worse than it was. Nothing got worse while we were away - or so I fondly believe. I've been taking care of business. I don't want to jinx myself, but the issues are dire enough it doesn't seem likely to get much worse, short of me up and dying. That would affect me less than those around me - a scenario we would all rather avoid. I don't have life insurance, so keeping me alive is a better deal for all concerned, though I sometimes wonder about me. I wish I believed in heaven. Something to look forward to.

I should buy lottery tickets. Someone has to win, right? I need hope.

I'm looking for a silver lining. I always look for one or two up there in the sky, but in my experience, clouds are lined with rain or snow, not silver. They're just clouds. Puffy vapor floating around in the blue yonder. They do not come bearing news, good or ill. Nor does good news come disguised as bad. Good stuff announces itself with trumpets, bells and brass bands. Bad news? Never any danger of missing it, No, uh uh. You can always tell when a piano falls on your head. Assuming you retain consciousness long enough to look up and say "Where did THAT come from?"

Today is half way between depression and blah. I'm not totally dispirited, but I'm not exactly jumping with joy. Maybe that's as good as I should expect these days. Lacking imminent threat of demise, foreclosure or other life catastrophe, 'tis enough. t'will serve. Thank you Will Shaxper.

GARRY ARMSTRONG'S CAPE COD

I take pretty pictures. Garry makes art. 

A lifetime of John Ford movies have had their effect. 

His eye seeks out pictures that are more than pictures, that are evocative and elegant. 

Many are perfect right off the SD chip. 

Please, look, enjoy, and make your own evaluation. 

TOMORROW AND TOMORROW

We are classically conflicted. Bummed by the wretched lodgings, enchanted by the beauty of the Cape. Itchy to be back in familiar -- comfortable -- surroundings. But glad to be away from the daily dilly dally. It may be a not-exactly-perfect vacation, but it is a vacation. We won't get another for a year or more. Not to mention there's some seriously rough weather ahead. High seas and gale force winds on the horizon.

I tend to think that what's happening to me is about me, but then I stop and think and realize what happens to me also happens to Garry. And, to some degree, happens to my family and friends. We are so interconnected. So dependent on each other. Our lives are not lived independently. We are not islands, not even peninsulas.

No Man Is An Island

No man is an island,

Entire of itself,

Every man is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.

As well as if a manor of thy friend's

Or of thine own were:

Any man's death diminishes me,

Because I am involved in mankind,

And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; 

It tolls for thee. 

-- John Donne

It is, to put it in the modern fashion, complicated. Very complicated.

Fortunately, some things are simple. You just sit there and wait until whatever is wrong sets itself right. Or not. Because you can't do anything about it anyway. Helplessness is the ultimate simplicity.

As an example, my computer just crashed. Nothing small. Blue to black screen to CHKSCRN where it announced my registry and file system were experiencing Problems. Not something one wants to see on the monitor. It suggested I wait while it checked itself for errors. Like I'm going to argue with it.

It proceeded to check itself for errors. Find errors in the file system, registry, disconnected packets? Orphaned data? Then it said it was putting itself together properly (did I detect a note of reproach? Is this my fault? Have I been a bad computer mommy?)

It repaired itself, announced "I am all better now. Please wait while I reboot."

Bing, Bong. Reboot.

"Hello, I'm your laptop. All better now. Please go right ahead with whatever you were doing" -- which is this thing I'm writing.

Effectively, my computer just had a stroke. It took itself to the hospital, performed surgery -- on itself. It healed, and went back to work. Who says Windows 7 isn't cool?

I still don't know what we are going to do tomorrow. I think we'll explore. Maybe we'll find someplace we've never seen or perfect dunes. With just a hint of giant sandworm.

WHAT REMAINS OF SANITY MUST BE PRESERVED

When people of good will work together and you still can't fix a simple problem, the best response is probably heavy drinking. When the victim doesn't drink, the problems takes on a more philosophical coloration. It gets a bit strange, even surreal.

This entire disaster is most likely rooted in a router that needs to be rebooted by a woman protected from everything by a determined ignorance I cannot breach. If she had a symbol, it would be the three monkeys, paws over eyes, ears, and mouth. Skip the mouth. She talks, but does not hear or see.

Her name is Front Desk.

- - - 

IT BEGINS WITH ME (10-13-2013)

I cannot publish or save a post since this morning. It was fine yesterday. Other people's WordPress blogs also display in plain text with missing graphics. I have cleaned out cookies and cache. I've signed in. I get messages that I'm unable to connect, but I can connect to Google, Facebook, Gmail, Blogger ... but I can't get my own blog to open properly. I can respond to some comments on other blogs, but not in the normal format. All formatting is gone.

Please help. I don't know what to do. I have gotten emails that my site looks normal to others, but not to me. Nor do their sites look normal. I have no idea what to do, but I can't edit, save, publish or even view my site. Can get to dashboard, but not the blog. Have cleared cookies and cache, but no improvement. All since this morning. Was OK yesterday.

The blog I need help with is teepee12.com.

IT CONTINUES WITH A SENSIBLE RESPONSE FROM WORDPRESS (10-14-2013)

Hi there,

I want to assure you that there aren't any issues with your blog itself. It sounds like there may be a problem with your connection to WordPress.com. This is most often caused by either security/firewall software on your computer or your ISP blocking the connection to WordPress.com.

Please make sure that any firewall software on your computer has the addresses wordpress.com and wp.com white-listed. You can also contact your ISP and request that these addresses be white-listed on their end, as well.

If you have any questions or further trouble with this, please let me know!

MY RESPONSE TO EVER INCREASING INSANITY (ROUND 2) (10-14-2013)

I tried accessing WordPress with all virus protection off and the firewall down. No change. Things keep getting worse. It must be the ISP since my husband's laptop has identical problems. We aren't at home. The "resort" at which we are staying has ComCast and they want a zillion forms filled out and Front Desk is clueless about what they want from her. Frankly, so am I. This should be simple, but apparently not if you are either Front Desk or ComCast. It's not worth making myself crazy trying to fix this when we will be home 10/19. Where hopefully everything will be normal. 

Since you assure me everything is really okay, at least I know I can take care of it then. It's very frustrating. The fix is so simple, but there's nothing more I can do, or nothing I can think of. If you think of anything, let me know.

Why would Comcast DO this? I don't understand. But there are many things I do not understand.

IN DEFENSE OF MY REMAINING SANITY (GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS) (10-15-2013)

This does sound to me like an ISP issue at your resort. Since you'll be home again at the end of the week, it sounds like a good idea to unplug and ignore it, for your own sanity. :)

If you do want to work on it, and you aren't able to get Comcast to white-list wordpress.com and wp.com, you might want to ask the resort if they will reset their modem and router. Sometimes resetting those will help resolve connection issues like this.

Good luck, and enjoy the rest of your time away from home! Let me know if I can do anything more to help.

THE NON-RESOLUTION (10-15-2013)

Ironically, when I first got here, my computer told me the router needs rebooting. Front Desk did NOT know what a router is. She didn't know where the router might be. I said "Surely someone knows ... you MUST have one."

She said "There's a guy who takes care of this, but he's only here ... (long pause) ..."

"Call him. Ask him where the router is. All you have to do is unplug the modem and router, count to 20, then plug them back in. It's simple."

"I can't do that."

And there it has lain, like a dead fish rotting on the wharf. I would not be surprised if the entire problem is that the router needs rebooting. A problem is only simple to those who wish to understand.

My sanity is seriously in jeopardy. This is supposed to be my VACATION. I am not vacating. I am stewing, brooding, simmering and occasionally, crying. I wish I were a drinker. I would start chugging tequila now and not stop until coma sets in. Alas, I don't drink. Bummer.

Or, in other words, ARRGH!

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER FIFTY DOLLARS

We have a timeshare. How we got boonswaggled into buying a timeshare I don't want to delve into. It will just give me heartburn and make me feel like an idiot. Suffice to say that however good it sounds, with rare exceptions, they are lying. They are making promises they won't and can't keep and you are going to wind up with a mortgage on nothing. Air. And you will pay a fortune for that empty promise.

Years later, we are still paying for that mistake. One of the things we usually do to try and not feel quite so ripped off, is go on an annual vacation. That way, at least we've gotten something -- not much, but something -- for our money.

This year, at Hotel Hell, it's hard to feel the money has been well spent. And yesterday, we got a call from the resort in Maine where we are technically owners to say they aren't getting the money we send every month to cover the annual maintenance fees.

But ... that money comes out of our account automatically every month. I know, I can see it on our bank statements, online, on paper. Anyway you look at it, the money gets taken out of the account by someone (everyone says "someone else" is doing it -- don't you love that?). So where, exactly, is it going? In all honesty, I'm less concerned with the mechanics than the bottom line.

We don't have spare money, so if that monthly payment is not getting to the Mountainview in Maine, then who is getting it?

Another mystery amongst the many mysteries which make my life so rich with meaning.

To brighten your day, today's pictures of Hyannis harbor are brought to you by Garry Armstrong, photographer deluxe. Whose pictures of the harbor turned out to be far more interesting that mine. Drat!

ON A DAY LIKE TODAY ...

I have a modestly successful blog on WordPress. Serendipity. You can visit it. It's pretty good. Sadly, I can't visit it because I'm on Cape Cod at a nasty little resort called Cape Winds where their ISP, Comcast, has locked me out. Not only locked me out of my own site, but all WordPress sites. My husband too.

Front Office, a pleasant woman who seems proud of her lack of understanding of just about everything, but especially her lack of knowledge about anything technical, is not able to help because I cannot explain the problem. She doesn't know what a router is. After I assured her she really did have one, she said she would have no idea where such a thing is kept. When I said it needed a reboot,A she said that was the job of "the fellow who takes care of those things, but he's not here." She wasn't sure when he would be here.

I said "Call him. Ask where the router is. It's not hard. All you have to do is unplug it, count to 10 slowly, plug it back in."

"No, I can't do that. I wouldn't know how," she assured me fervently.

She had much the same response when I explained that both toilets were clogged and wouldn't flush. I didn't think you could classify toilets under the definition of "technical" or "geeky" but her response was "Hm. Curious."

Curious? The toilet doesn't flush. I can think of a lot of ways to describe it, but "curious" would not be any of them. Fortunately, the maintenance guy didn't think it was curious. He thought the toilet needed replacing and when it clogged up again today, he replaced it with a new toilet that flushes so efficiently I'm afraid it may suck me down into its depths. "GLUG" it says and whoosh, whatever had been there is gone, and I mean completely vanished without a trace.

This vacation has been kind of horrible. More like a week of punishment than a vacation. From the bed we can't sleep in because it's so hard and lumpy it's painful, to the aforementioned toilets, to the huge closet with no hangers, to the ancient, crusty-with-dirt creaking futon in the so-called living room -- but we are sleeping on because it's not as bad as the bed. To this unit's location on the second floor when I'd asked (and really need) handicapped access. To the light bulbs that only work sometimes and all the electrical outlets that do not provide electricity. To the weird sinks in the bathrooms which are 6 inches higher than normal bathroom vanities, so the shelf is near my shoulders. To the general lack of amenities, the overall feeling of drab dilapidation, grit and grime.

There's a bright side. The weather has been exceptional. The photo ops el primo. Today I found -- and bought -- not one but two pair of extremely comfortable shoes which I badly needed. Moreover, the Red Sox won last night, as did the Patriots. The TV works most of the time. Best of all, this awful vacation is going to make terrific humorous anecdotes for years to come.

You can't lose them all.